Happy October! “Spooky Season” is upon us and what many look at as the real “official” start of Fall. I can’t believe there are only 3 months left in 2021. Time has gone by both fast and unbelievably slow.
This year has been different for me. In the past I would get an idea for a story, then meander my way through writing it, and figure out when to put it out after the fact. I never set a schedule beforehand, but I did this year. Thanks to my Wordmakers group, using the Zoe York books, I laid out a plan to craft a series and release the books on a schedule. Like the preorders were set, hard dates were announced schedule.
Talk about stressful. However, the first two books weren’t as bad, but the third one…that third one had me seriously questioning/regretting life decisions. Writing can be hard, some stories take more out of you than others. Book 3, Mechanics of Love did that for me. From the beginning I struggled. And when I say struggled, I do mean STRUGGLED.
Rewrote the opening chapters multiple times which isn’t the norm *for me*. I couldn’t get a handle on the characters despite thinking about them for two books and thinking I had a grasp on how their story would play out. NOTHING WENT TO PLAN. And I use plan loosely as I’m a pantser so a lot of my writing is character lead, but when you don’t know the characters they only lead you in circles.
And in circles I wrote. With a deadline breathing down my neck, the characters not being clear, the pressure mounted. I had alpha readers, my editor, my support squad and still I struggled. The harder it got, the more I fell out of love with the story. Legit tears were shed.
Time wasn’t stopping and as I said at the start, it was going both slow, but also extremely fast. The clock kept going, the words however didn’t want to come. And I got detached more and more. I’d only experienced this one other time with a story (Anything Once) but I didn’t start falling out of love with that story until edits. With that one I learned an abundance of feedback can muddy the waters and I reworked how I handled my betas after that.
Mechanics of Love, however, I was ready to give up mid writing. I was willing to be in Amazon preorder jail for canceling the date. I was ready to leave the series unfinished and walk away. Did I finish it? Yes. Did I ever find the love for it? No.
It’s been out in the world since Sept. 22. Unlike the other two, I didn’t schedule any blog tour. Leading up to the release, I wasn’t as vocal about it on social media. It’s a strange feeling to put out a project that you aren’t in love with, but that’s where I’m at. Even weeks later, I don’t have the fullest confidence in the book I released. Questions continue to swirl. Did I tell the story they deserved? Could I have done more? Was the whole thing compromised because of the time crunch?
Will I ever grow to love the story? I can’t say. I don’t dislike Anything Once as much as I used to, so there’s hope. But for now, it’s done, and out in the world. I accomplished what I set out to do this year which was publish on a release schedule. Now, I’ve been taking time off. I don’t have a next project in mind just yet. I’ve been percolating on an idea, but not trying to rush it. I need time to recuperate.
That’s it for now. Tell me, have you finished a book you weren’t in love with even at the end?
Until next time
The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.