IWSG – No Love Loss

Happy October! “Spooky Season” is upon us and what many look at as the real “official” start of Fall. I can’t believe there are only 3 months left in 2021. Time has gone by both fast and unbelievably slow. 

This year has been different for me. In the past I would get an idea for a story, then meander my way through writing it, and figure out when to put it out after the fact. I never set a schedule beforehand, but I did this year. Thanks to my Wordmakers group, using the Zoe York books, I laid out a plan to craft a series and release the books on a schedule. Like the preorders were set, hard dates were announced schedule.

Talk about stressful. However, the first two books weren’t as bad, but the third one…that third one had me seriously questioning/regretting life decisions. Writing can be hard, some stories take more out of you than others. Book 3, Mechanics of Love did that for me. From the beginning I struggled. And when I say struggled, I do mean STRUGGLED. 

Rewrote the opening chapters multiple times which isn’t the norm *for me*. I couldn’t get a handle on the characters despite thinking about them for two books and thinking I had a grasp on how their story would play out. NOTHING WENT TO PLAN. And I use plan loosely as I’m a pantser so a lot of my writing is character lead, but when you don’t know the characters they only lead you in circles. 

And in circles I wrote. With a deadline breathing down my neck, the characters not being clear, the pressure mounted. I had alpha readers, my editor, my support squad and still I struggled. The harder it got, the more I fell out of love with the story. Legit tears were shed.

Time wasn’t stopping and as I said at the start, it was going both slow, but also extremely fast. The clock kept going, the words however didn’t want to come. And I got detached more and more. I’d only experienced this one other time with a story (Anything Once) but I didn’t start falling out of love with that story until edits. With that one I learned an abundance of feedback can muddy the waters and I reworked how I handled my betas after that.

Mechanics of Love, however, I was ready to give up mid writing. I was willing to be in Amazon preorder jail for canceling the date. I was ready to leave the series unfinished and walk away. Did I finish it? Yes. Did I ever find the love for it? No. 

It’s been out in the world since Sept. 22. Unlike the other two, I didn’t schedule any blog tour. Leading up to the release, I wasn’t as vocal about it on social media. It’s a strange feeling to put out a project that you aren’t in love with, but that’s where I’m at. Even weeks later, I don’t have the fullest confidence in the book I released. Questions continue to swirl. Did I tell the story they deserved? Could I have done more? Was the whole thing compromised because of the time crunch? 

Will I ever grow to love the story? I can’t say. I don’t dislike Anything Once as much as I used to, so there’s hope. But for now, it’s done, and out in the world. I accomplished what I set out to do this year which was publish on a release schedule. Now, I’ve been taking time off. I don’t have a next project in mind just yet. I’ve been percolating on an idea, but not trying to rush it. I need time to recuperate. 

That’s it for now. Tell me, have you finished a book you weren’t in love with even at the end?

Until next time

~Meka

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.

The awesome co-hosts for the October 6 posting of the IWSG are Jemima Pett, J Lenni Dorner, Cathrina Constantine, Ronel Janse van Vuuren, and Mary Aalgaard!

15 thoughts on “IWSG – No Love Loss

  1. Cathrina Constantine says:

    Hi, Meka, nice to meet you. I have had a love/hate relationship with my books. After the reworking, revising, editing, and then doing it all over again, I want to scream. I understand how you feel. Not all of our creations are topnotch, but be proud of each and every one. You struggled for it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Meka James says:

      Yes. At some point I think we all go through a love/hate thing with the stories. We read them so many times it’s hard not to LOL. In time I’m sure (hope) I’ll find the love for the book. Right now, I’m just happy it’s done and out in the world.

      thanks for stopping by

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Damyanti Biswas says:

    Hi Meka, that’s a tough one. I’ve been in hate with my debut, You Beneath Your Skin, which took me 7 years to write, but it turned out to be an Amazon bestseller, and got optioned for TV. So I guess the novel doesn’t care if you hate it at some point.

    Take all the time you need to recuperate–the best advice I’ve ever been given as a writer is ‘be kind to yourself’ and that’s the one I’d suggest for you. Sending all the good vibes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Meka James says:

      Oh wow! That is amazing. Congrats! Unfortunately my novels aren’t doing anything as grand and still not caring that I hate it LOL

      Yes. I’ve been just taking it easy since the release. Not pushing myself to figure out the next project and trying to focus on other aspects of the indie business.

      thanks for stopping by

      Like

  3. soniadogra says:

    Hi. Well I can’t really answer that question because I don’t have a book out as yet but I can say that some of my writing that I’ve had out there, I haven’t landed up enjoying it ultimately. But at the same time, other people have loved it. So, sometimes the fate of our writing is different from what we think. Best wishes to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Meka James says:

      It’s a strange place for sure. Like we in theory have all the control over our words, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Especially if you’re a pantser like me and the characters tend to veer off and do everything but what you expected.

      Best of luck with your future writing. Thanks for stopping by

      Like

    • Meka James says:

      That’s what I normally do, set it aside and wait for the clarity/inspiration to hit. Unfortunately I didn’t have that luxury this time which made it all so much worse. I’ve decided to go back to my old process of write first, giving myself the time to breath that I need then worry about scheduling the release after.

      thanks for stopping by

      Liked by 1 person

  4. ahtdoucette says:

    I have definitely been there too. Seriously, kudos for plowing ahead anyway. I’ve heard this from multiple people, that often by the time you are done you HATE your novel because you have read the same things over and over. It may be beautiful, exciting compelling but you’d never know because all you see is the nuts and bolts. It happens to all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Meka James says:

      Sorry you’ve been in the same boat. And thank you. I’m glad I managed to get it done and finish on the schedule I’d set for myself. Now taking time to de-stress and figure out what’s next, giving myself the leeway away from the pressure.

      thanks for stopping by

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lidy says:

    The struggle is real. Currently I’m in the middle of a story I’m growing more and more meh with. Don’t think I’m yet at the falling out of love with it stage but doubt it’s that far away. Enjoy your recuperation time and come back refreshed. And you never know, the third book might end up the most popular and sold of the three. Weird things happen.

    Liked by 1 person

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