Happy June. Normally June is *my* month due to my birthday, but this year I’m feeling rather blah. I missed posting IWSG in May because my daughter was in town for a visit doing final steps before her wedding in July. Lots of things happening.
One thing that doesn’t seem to be happening, however, is my productivity. I know we’re supposed to keep our eyes on our own paper and all that jazz. Not compare ourselves to others. But how do we not compare ourselves to ourselves??? That’s the trick I’m trying to work out this year. This time last year I had one book out and a second on preorder to release, while actively writing the third. I ended up releasing three novels, plus submitting two short stories for anthologies.
This year… ZERO, ZILCH, NADA. I’ve been working on the same story all year and I’m nowhere near completed. My support squad has been so great trying to get me through the struggles, but so far to no avail. I’ve only managed around 30k on what should be 75k and I can’t seem to get out of my way to just tell the story. I’ve brainstormed, gotten early feedback, tried to free write and yet I remain stuck.
To make matters worse, because I am stuck I get in a cycle of being down on myself and then the comparison to what I accomplished the previous year makes me feel more like a failure. I am my own worst enemy. Am I still trying to figure out how to move forward? Yes. I don’t understand why I’m stuck with the project, but the more I was stuck, the harder it was to produce so I opted to switch gears. The book I was working on was meant for submission, my pockets needed a break after putting out 3 books last year. Hahah Luckily for me, the place I was planning to submit is open to taking proposals.
This is the first time I’ve done things that way and frankly it’s a little scary. Mostly because working under a deadline that someone else sets would be something new (if they take the book) and considering the struggles I’ve had so far, the doubts are already settling in about my ability to get it finished. But again, my squad is helping me keep my head up about it. So for now, it’s out of sight, out of mind so to speak.
While I wait, I’ve decided to switch gears and work on something shorter. I’ve had an idea for some novellas which *in theory* are easier for me to write because they are low/no angst. So far however, the only thing I’ve managed to accomplish is covers I may or may not use. Giving my pockets a break is still very much in effect and thanks to Canva and some very helpful graphic designer friends, I’ve been toying around with making my own covers for the first time. Getting sucked into that is another procrastination technique, I’m well aware, but I needed the break. I’m waiting on the excitement to write to hit me. Hopefully it’ll come along soon.
That’s all the woe-is-me for today.
Until next time,
The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a home for writers in all stages; from unpublished to bestsellers. Our goal is to offer assistance and guidance. We want to help writers overcome their insecurities, and by offering encouragement we are creating a community of support.